Love, Forgiveness, and the "Fault Box"

"Forgiveness is a habit, and like all habits it is one we need to practice"

Forgiveness

Forgiveness comes hard to our human nature. It is difficult, but not impossible. As Christians we are called to listen to the “better angels of our nature.”

But we often fail at this. God gave us the sacrament of Baptism, to wash us clean and make us into new creatures unstained by sin. But He also gave us the sacrament of reconciliation, confession, to forgive us our failings and restore the baptismal grace that mortal sin robs us of.

It is part of our nature, we are constantly bombarded with temptations to act towards others in a most un-Christian way.

The Fault Box

After 15 years of marriage a couple began to fight with each other more than was usual. They seemed to disagree on everything. But they wanted to make their marriage work and so they both agreed to an idea the wife had. They each constructed a “Fault” box and for one month every time their spouse did something that irritated them they would write out the fault on a slip of paper and put it in the box. At the end of the month they would exchange boxes.

The wife was diligent in recording all the little things her husband did on a daily basis that annoyed her; “leaving the tops of jars,” “wet towels on the floor,” “dirty socks not in the hamper,” and so on until the end of the month.

At the end of the month, after dinner, they exchanged their boxes. The husband reflected on all the ways he had not been sensitive to his wife's feelings and needs. Then his wife opened her box and began reading. But every slip of paper in the box bore the same message, “I love you.”

Love

Forgiveness is a habit, and like all habits it is one we need to practice on a daily basis until it comes to us as naturally as anger and resentment do.

With the story of “Doubting Thomas” it is easy to overlook the more significant event in today’s Gospel. The Lord imparts the Holy Spirit to His community of believers and admonishes them to forgive one another’s sins. This is much more than Jesus instructing his priests. It is an instruction meant for the whole community.

The earliest Christian community described in the first reading must have been a marvel, unfortunately it did not last too long. The next chapter in the Acts of the Apostles shows that greed entered into the community and discrimination was not far behind. St. Paul criticized some believers for divisions within their communities. Subsequent letters criticized Christians for their factions, envy, jealousies, indifference, dissension and problems with authority.

In two thousand years, not a lot has changed. As a people, Christians are still divided by issues that range from matters trivial to grave. At a time when the Church needs unity perhaps above all, she is fractured from within.

If we take anything away from this first century ideal of the Christian community it is not the short lived utopian description. Rather we should keep in mind the words and actions of Christ. He imparts to us the Holy Spirit and gives His chosen apostles the power to forgive sin.

Forgiveness has been a hallmark of Christian living from the beginning. Forgiveness is an act of love, and in spite of some outward appearances to the contrary, Christians are known for the love they bear toward each other and the love that is extended to those who hate them.

In his first inaugural address, Abraham Lincoln addressed the growing division within the nation. Civil war was all but inevitable. But Lincoln made his plea to heal division deeply personal. "We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies."

The final sentence of his address has become part of the American lexicon. "The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave, to every heart and hearth-stone, all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature."

We saw the result of a divided nation that could not forgive. Many think we are on the same path. What then is the danger to the Church of God?

Much like the nation, we know the Church will endure. We have been promised as much by God Himself. But, as Cardinal Ratzinger predicted before he became pope, it may be a smaller Church than we have known.

However if we return to the values of that first community, rid ourselves of attachments to a world that hates us, or as Pope Benedict put it, “attachments to privilege,” then we may end up with a Church stronger than the one we now know. A stronger, more spiritual Church, that is better prepared to evangelize the world.

The Church has always had to struggle with building the perfect Christian community. A lack of faith and an inability to forgive make this all the more difficult. Forgiveness then is the gift Jesus imparts to us, a gift that must be shared with others. And to do this requires faith. An attitude of belief and surrender must replace an insistence on seeing and experiencing.

The peace of the community we read about today came entirely from spiritual inspiration, it would have been almost impossible to achieve any other way. Is there anything we hold against our neighbors? Do we withhold forgiveness or foster division where there should be reconciliation and unity?

Let us heed the words of Jesus and forgive that we may be forgiven. When we are called to account for the way we have treated others, let every slip in our “Fault” box read “I love you.”

Pax Vobiscum
2nd Sunday of Easter

Pontifex University is an online university offering a Master’s Degree in Sacred Arts. For more information visit the website at www.pontifex.university

Lawrence Klimecki, MSA, is a deacon in the Diocese of Sacramento. He is a public speaker, writer, and artist, reflecting on the intersection of art and faith and the spiritual “hero’s journey” that is part of every person’s life. He maintains a blog at www.DeaconLawrence.org and can be reached at Lawrence@deaconlawrence.com

Lawrence draws on ancient Christian tradition to create new contemporary visions of sacred art. For more information on original art, prints and commissions, Please visit www.DeaconLawrence.org

Purchase fine art prints of Deacon Lawrence’s work here.